** Click here for Episode 182 **
Have you lost the key to your padlocked shed and desperately need to get your lawnmower out? Are you yearning to break out of a very spindly prison cell? Or do you just like threatening-looking tools? If so, call on Brigade for assistance:
Last Friday I parked my bike at a quiet train station, before taking the train to see my parents in the countryside. When I returned Sunday afternoon, I unlocked it, packed my stuff onto it, and then spent a few minutes not understanding why it wouldn’t move. It turned out that somebody else had locked it to the bike stand (why, oh why? My boyfriend suggests some teenagers having fun, but what kind of fun is that? In my days, we vandalised bikes, we did not make them
extra-unstealable).
The next day, I shelled out the equivalent of £37 to buy a bolt cutter (since no-one I knew had one I could borrow), and went back to regain control over my bike. Amazingly, no-one seemed to find anything remarkable about a 30ish woman cutting a wire lock in plain view at midday.
I went home with my bike and my bolt cutter, wondering if I would ever use this tool again. However, spending £37 just to retrieve a bike seems a bit on the expensive side, and I would like to get a bit more out of my purchase, if at all possible. So, answer me this: What (non-criminal) uses for a bolt cutter can you think of?
Easy: insinuate yourself with the band of vagabonds who did this to your bike, and linger at the bike stands with which they’ve recently interfered with. When the owners of the shackled bikes turn up, offer to cut the locks for them for a small fee. You’ll recoup the £37 in no time!
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Answer Me This! Podcast 
July 13, 2011 at 3:03 pm |
You could always just take it back to the shop your bought it from for a refund. Otherwise, it might be useful in some very heavy duty BDSM.