** Click here for Episode 171 **
Here’s an email from someone who, understandably, wishes to remain anonymous. So we will know him only as Sexy Windmaster:
I have this friend, who shall remain nameless, and whilst trying out a few movements garnered from my Kama Sutra app, I happened to experience an auditory discharge* at the very moment of entry.
I tried to ignore it, but she fell about in laughter and said I had ruined the moment and she might never be able to have sex with me again. I was left tumescent and embarrassed in Somerset.
My question is, what is the correct etiquette for dealing with accidental discharges, whether auditory or otherwise, in the height of passion? If a raspberry or fanny fart is perfectly acceptable, why should a normal fart raise such strong objections?
My own thoughts are that it’s a very messy business and, a bit like living on a farm, it’s all part of a rich tapestry, farts and all.
Readers, I don’t know your thoughts on such matters – personally, my years of service in Sevenoaks School’s Needlework Club means that farting and tapestry NEVER go together – but Sexy Windymaster needs to know them, in order to avoid being blue-balled by his own bowels again. Proceed to the comments, and apprise him upon the most debonair way to excuse a trump without spoiling the sexytime. A noise can be laughed off, but a stench is more difficult to excuse in the moment, so you’re going to have to work hard on this problem.
* I assume he means an audible discharge, rather than his ears produced a parp.
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Answer Me This! Podcast 
March 23, 2011 at 5:14 pm |
Go dogging and blame it on the dog
March 23, 2011 at 11:58 am |
You may have fooled everyone else, Ms Zaltzman, but I spotted your subtle plug for your latest sponsor… Since when have they been producing the Audible “Discharge”, anyway?
March 22, 2011 at 1:17 pm |
Sex when you think about it is sweaty, noisy,and never mills and boon romantic so a bum burp can be forgiven but if it was a stinker then that would definatley kill the moment!