** Click here for Episode 163 **
Good news for Emma from Bristol! Sarah knows exactly what you should do with your four boxes of unwanted Christmas talcum powder:
Picture the scene.
A rare hot sunny day in August. You’ve bundled the family into the car at 5am and driven to the coast for a well deserved fun filled day at the beach. You’ve spent so much money on parking, undercooked burgers and overpriced buckets and spades that you could’ve flown to Greece for a week. At least one member of your party has been sick or cut themselves on the rock pool.
Now it is 4.30 and you’ve got to fight your way home on the motorway with all the other fuckers. You’ve been on a sandy beach all day, in and out of the sea. You have sand in every crevice of your body, and trying to brush it off with a towel, apart from being utterly ineffective, makes you red raw. Road rage is setting in already.
Talcum powder will save you. Liberally applied to sand covered areas, it will remove all traces of the evil stuff and leave you feeling silky smooth, calm and ready to face the long journey home.
So when great aunty Mabel presents me with a little bottle of talc every Christmas I smile, thank her, and tuck it away with my suntan lotion.
Hooray! So by deploying it for a post-beach clean-up, you should have used up your supply in a mere 80 years or sono time. But whatever you do, don’t sprinkle it on a baby, Jamie in Nottingham warns:
My partner Marie and I have a 14-week-old daughter, Lily Sophia!!! And we have been told by medical professionals that you cannot use talc as the tiny particles – if that is the word – is bad for them! I fucking loved talc!!
Don’t let such a pure love die, Jamie! If you’re scared to sprinkle the substance over your daughter, give yourself a thick dusting instead. You’ll look like John Malkovich in Dangerous Liaisons, which might give Marie a nice post-natal thrill.
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Answer Me This! Podcast 
January 25, 2011 at 8:58 pm |
Oh it might lead to baked goods; but, I used to wait tables a little while back, corn starch is a great substitute to keep from getting chaffed labia as Martin said. We call it swamp ass in the industry.
January 26, 2011 at 6:02 am |
Some people call this condition monkey butt. I have seen an actual product called Anti Monkey Butt Powder.
January 26, 2011 at 1:08 pm |
I love it, sound much less disgusting.
January 25, 2011 at 8:56 pm |
It’s true I work in a Lab with asbestos samples. Talc, Gypsum, and some cellulous particle are about the only things that survive the process in order to prep these sample. Being heat around 480F for multiple hours, not much is left besides these and asbestos fibers. The Talc fibers are very small, around 0.50um long and about .002um or so wide. That being said unlike the larger asbestos they may be passed through the blood stream without getting stuck in tissue, although I believe there is a lack of research in this area (talc).
TMI?