** Click here for Episode 77 **
In Episode 77, James from Royal Holloway University described the unfair ribbing he received from his ‘friends’ for his unbrutish telephone conduct when phoning for a pizza. Happily, Jack from Leeds has confirmed that James was very much in the right by not launching into his order straightaway, by giving the inside scoop on being the person on the other end of the phone:
Being a spotty 16 year old in need of some spending cash, I AM a pizza boy, and have a personal gripe about this. Here is Dr. Jack’s run down of ordering a pizza.
Pre-Call: Decide what you want. Nothing is worse than you ringing up to order six or seven pizzas, and I’ve got pizzas building up in the oven, chips burning and customers in store while you’re going round the room saying “Erm, Dave, what do you want?” Long pause… “What about Sandra?” The only exception to this rule is if you’ve looked at the menu and can’t choose, and want my professional opinion. In that case, I’m happy to help.
1) When the phone is answered, say in a clear voice one of the following:
a) I would like to place an order for collection
or
b) I would like to place an order for delivery.
Nothing else is allowed. In the case of delivery, have the house’s address and postcode on standby in case we don’t have you on the system.
2) Wait for the pizza boy/gal to ask for your order. When he/she does, all pizzas should be named with the following syntax:
[Name of Pizza (as on menu)] [Size in Inches] [Deep Pan or Thin Crust].
Pronounce ‘jalapeno’ correctly.
Any burger orders should be as follows:
[Name of Burger (as on menu)] [Single or Double (quarter or half pounder is also acceptable)] [Fries or No Fries].
Nothing else is allowed.
3)Shut up and let me tell you how much it will cost and when it will be there.
Please, for pizza boys/gals’ sakes everywhere, adhere to these simple rules and life will be much easier.
Bam! Clear as Fox’s Glacier Mints. Consider this aspect of 21st-century etiquette established, like curtseying when you meet the Queen.
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Answer Me This! Podcast 
December 4, 2008 at 10:50 am |
If you’re going to be sniffy about the pronunciation of “jalapeño” (and god knows I am), you really should go the whole hog and add the tilde (or “squiggly bit”, if you must) on the “n”.
Am I related to Helen?